Sunday Club

Sunday Club

That day I was discussing stuff about our kids with my friends. I noticed that for most of them the pattern of what these kids will end up doing was the same or at least the plan was same

All wanted to focus on raising good moral kids, provide them everything , focus on their growth opportunities and mostly a lot of them will go aboard for higher education or stay back in India and focus on their careers

I don’t see anything wrong with the above and nor would you. But as I thought more It hit me that when ever we talk about doing something for the greater good, we think about doing something for kids who are deprived and focus on them. Again you or I will not see anything wrong with this too…..but then again does it not make equal sense to also focus on kids who have been fortunate enough to have everything too?

As the next generation takes over, would it not be great if the kids who have had everything also have the right seeds of thought ( about social responsibility and awareness ) planted in them at the right age so that some percentage of those will tomorrow use their time and prosperity to do something for the greater good?

Think about it, the fortunate kids who will be growing up in prosperity will hardly get a natural chance to understand the ‘other’ world for them to even think about their relative position in the world. It will not be their fault if they don’t get these realization as we would have raised them in a ‘fortress (i.e. protected environment)’, saving them from many of the realities of the world…

But I think we as parents can do all the things we want to for our kids but also do something cool and interesting to spend time with them, create awareness and have fun on the way….hence ….’Sunday Club’…

The premise of the Sunday club is to spend quality time with our children in a group environment focusing on making social awareness fun and insightful

This will achieve 2 things in one shot…an answer to spending quality time with our children, making social awareness a insightful and fun activity and on the way making good like minded friends…

The structure would be as follows:

Meet every Sunday/other Sunday for 1 hour with parents and children (both or one parent)

Decide on a program which is a combination or discussion areas, movies, documentaries, field trips, lectures, meeting / inviting people who can share

Lets take each one separately:

1. Discussion areas: Decide areas where we would want to provide knowledge and insight to our children in a way they would understand. Categories can range from social awareness on issues such as poverty, child labor, education opportunities, class issues, to other ones such as deforestation, wildlife conservation, global warming, demographic richness, India and our roots etc

2. We can find movies , documentaries which are relevant to the above areas and see those together and then have group discussions on them

3. we can arrange field trips to places, organizations whereby we can see and experience the above areas e.g.: NGO’s , schools, social projects, farms, animal shelters, nature trips etc

4. We can invite people who can come in and talk to our kids and us on any of the above topics ( this can be people we know etc)

- For all the above, we will need to be cognizant of the age group of the kids and manage the events so that they don’t become a drag.

- One of the things going for us would be the fact that these kids will be in groups so we need to encourage interaction and discussion…have them speak out

- we will need to ensure that there is no sense of competition or bickering which develops as the only selfish intention we have here is spending quality time with them and learn on the way

- the parents will needs to be the folks who come together and decide the curriculum ( for a lack of a better word ) and then research and take turns managing the club for the day based on the topic/activity

(with the internet, this becomes so very easy! ) …

- we should encourage the older kids to participate a lot as well as sometimes prepare and manage the discussion

we will decide a good mix of the above for each Sunday so that the preparation gets spread out between parents and also variety makes it more fun and interesting and not a drag for the kids …

The way I see this happening is that it would be targeted for a building or a building complex where the goal and structure can be discussed with parents and the interested and likeminded families can come together and start this.

As time progresses the structure and the content gets logged for future use and then it can be passed on to friends who can potentially start it in their neighborhood and so on and so forth…

Who knows … one day we can have a meeting of various ‘Sunday clubs’ and discuss experiences and suggestions…the kids can talk and provide their insights and areas they find interesting and…

Ohh well … I dream…but then isn’t it what it’s all about? J

Abhijit

North Wales

26^th June 2008

A methodology to enabling 'Children as social citizens'

Following up on my last post, I have been thinking on how something like that can be made viral and how does one increase the probability of it succeeding?

The challenges parents will face to make their children socially aware is persistence, attention span of children, how to make it fun and interesting and follow thro'

Hence I was thinking this has a better chance if it can be done as a group activity ... and eventually grow it like a franchising model.

What does this mean?

Basically try to collect some like minded parents in your vicinity and explain to them the concept. Then decide a time each week ( call it a 'sunday club' for example) where the parents come with their kids and we run this like a organized program

we prepare a Goals and vision document , a rules document and then a list of what all can be done

i.e pick various areas we want to have lively discussion with our kids, on topics ranging on social issues awareness to environment to world affairs which affect the social fabric etc

Decide the means by which this can be delivered in the most interesting manner. The formats can be lectures , fun facts, movies, documentaries

Also decide how many and what kind of field trips can be undertaken so that the kids also get a feel of things and it does not remain a theory. This can be to NGO's, projects, nature trips etc

Its important that the core and target of anything we do needs to be creating interest and social awareness for our children. There are so many things we can do that unless we focus this can go all over the place

As this matures, the vision would be to create a structure and program which anyone can pick up and start a 'Sunday club'

The advantages of doing this for parents would be:

- Most like minded parents struggle with this issue on how to imbibe this awareness in their kids so that they can atleast have them as data points later to make conscious decisions
- This will be a nice way to spend productive time with your children
- The children will get a fun way to know this as they will be doing this with other kids
- This can be a very good way to get to know like minded people and the children can also make some good friends while learning a lot
- This can help us as parents learn and grow too as we will have to stretch our creativity to study, learn and impart ....

Abhijit
16th June 08

Children as social citizens

This is something I had penned down ...

‘My Children can become good social citizens’

A 13 year old girl is telling a reporter “I just hope my daughter does not become an opium bride and go through what I have” ……..

I have always been an avid reader. I guess I like to read anything and everything. It always begs the question that what percentage of the reading I do really makes a difference to me or my life in a positive way. If you try it you will see that it’s very hard to really measure this and you never know how all this reading is molding you if at all….

This was a Wednesday…a typical work day with nothing extraordinary happening or any possibility of happening. But then two things … very unassuming happened. While in the office I got an email with a signature at the bottom which read ‘The purpose of life is to have a life of purpose’ …

I read it and read it again. I have read many inspiring sentences but for some reason I liked this one for its simplicity of message. I did not give it any further thought but it was parked somewhere in my mind at least for that day.

My daughter is 5 and my son is 1. Like any conscious parents we have active topics in our home regarding raising our children, making the best learning avenues available to them and always trying to find options for enhancing their mental as well as physical growth. Such options are always centered on art classes, sports, music, reading etc. There are also discussions around teaching them good habits and making them well behaved kids. My better half takes a lead in such things and today was no exception…she has been looking for various options around classes & activities for the summer and she was not too happy that some of the ones she was looking for were full. So she felt that this was not good and my daughter will be loosing a valuable opportunity this summer.

In the evening I was working out and was reading a magazine when I happened upon an article on Opium Brides in Afghanistan which ended with a 13 year old girl telling a reporter “ I just hope my daughter does not become a opium bride and go through what I have”… This was a article about the plight in Afghanistan where daughters are pawned off to drug traffickers and money lenders against loans which poor farmers take for growing poppy ( the only sustainable cash crop in that region) and cant repay them…

This was like a bolt of lightning for me where I started thinking how far removed we are from many things in the world. While we as parents are concerned about making them wholesome kids with the appropriate classes and activities we have never had a serious discussion around any effort to make them better aware and good social citizens

I agree that, there are many problems in the world and this was just one of them but is it not important that as our kids grow they need to know how privileged we are and that we have a role and purpose in life beyond just going through the day and living for oneself. There are some for whom this goes all the way and they serve the world literally while there are others where this awareness and understanding of our relative place in this world gives them a pivot in life to put things in perspective as they grow up and they keep contributing in their small way and of course then there are others where none of this matters…..

I think we have a duty to our kids to at least equip them with this awareness by not just words but some actions so that they can at least make a decision for themselves as they go through life. What does this really mean? Does this mean we have to give up on something else which we like or enjoy? Is this really a choice or does it need to be a choice?

These are the questions which have vexed me for some time now…

Typically as parents we will naturally focus on the things which will make them ready for this world. Things such as formal education, sports, overall personality development, morals and while doing this we want to make them street smart and also understand the importance of making money.

All of the above takes day to day effort and in this world of mostly two working parents it ‘seems’ it also takes a fine act of time balancing.

This leaves no room to even think of any ways of making them better social citizens of this world….Infact in many cases our parental protective instincts may have us actually try to shield them from these realities of the world we live in...

My contention is that as the world has become more and more competitive and material values are at a high, we will not have to make much of an effort to make them street smart or money minded. The society we live in will take care of that.

Before I continue, I also want to say here that I am not a closet communist or an ultra socialist and absolutely believe in capitalism and importance of money making J

But then again I do think that there is a point in life where a strong social perspective as well as the relative importance and severity of things or problems in ones life, has a large impact on how the person perceives his place in the world.

What’s important and what’s not and what can be sources of happiness outside of money. In any small way what is one going to leave behind for the larger good to make an impact in the world he stays in?

I think such thoughts typically get associated with extremes where it seems that this cannot be done unless you leave everything related to what we perceive as being successful (money, positions, assets etc). I contend that its not.

That’s where I think that as parents if we make conscious investments to plant the right seeds of thoughts and awareness in our children, one day they will sprout and without realizing become key assets to them to lead happy and balanced lives…. lives of purpose….

I also think that the notion of ‘lets do the best for our children, provide them the best and not really have them see and understand the dark but very real side of the world’, needs to be questioned. We should reflect if shielding them is the right way or is it better to expose and present it to them in a way where it’s a step ladder in understanding it well rather than hiding from it or ignoring this reality…which infact is going to affect their day to day life in unknown ways in this very interconnected world……I can think of several examples of how this can happen…

What can be simple ways of doing this? I have a few thoughts and ideas here….

- As our kids get older it would be important to get them exposed to literature outside of usual fiction. We will have to take some effort in finding books which are easy reads but create this awareness

- We should focus on TV programs which are about world events or analysis and are introspective. Now here it’s not enough to just watch them but more to engage them in discussions which are interesting and which help them think or raise questions. Granted they will not understand the answers to some but one day they will figure it out if their minds become active on such things

- As parents we need to get involved in some social activities. An example can be that every month or other month we visit a NGO run program to just observe. There we along with our children should donate what we can and then have dialogues to understand their work

- This can also be tied to some event such as their birthdays etc where they donate some money for the family and do some volunteer work. This way it can become an organized family timeout…

- We have to make an effort to find programs, lectures, people who can provide a world perspective, global issues perspective as well as perspectives on issues in your country and take our children there. Easier said then done? I think not…there are many such around…all it needs is a desire from our end as parents to find them and not try to ignore them with a fake excuse of time. Sometimes it may become a choice between a fun movie (important too but far easier done) and attending such an event…

- Make this viral and find like minded friends with children, with whom you can make going for these events, having discussions a fun event. when there are other children it will be more interesting and engaging for your kids

- Create a concept of topic of the month and find ways of opening up discussions with your children and discuss them via even easier mediums such as documentaries, movies, easy books, internet research etc. Of course you will have to take the effort of bring it up to a easier and non-boring level and depending on the age of your children keep it at the right depth

- Of course one of the best is lead by example where you get involved with a NGO and start donating time for some social cause …this will definitely have a lasting impact on your children. Now this is one where each one will need to decide if they have the urge and true desire to do it as such things cannot be forced. But I do think its not too late for any of us to start doing our miniscule bit…this one is definitely easier said then done, I got to admit.

- We can mix it up by exposing them to equally important topics such as global warming or nature conservation which indirectly or in many cases directly have a huge social impact. These kind of topics will not only make the discussions or exposure interesting but also allow their minds to link all these things

- There can be many more easier ideas which can be used. If you notice, none of these should force you to give up on any of the usual fun activities such as movies, travel, sports etc… that’s the key….we don’t have to convince or fool ourselves in thinking that by doing any of this we are making a great sacrifice and have suddenly become greater human beings J

I also think that in all of us, in a small or big way there is always a want or desire to do good and feel good about it….do something impactful in any small way…

If we do this, they may at the right age start realizing that everyone in the world does not come with the same privileges (small of big) and actually may be able to make a relationship between that child in Afghanistan, why such situations happen, and what can one do in any small way to feel a part of the solution rather then the problem or be a passive observer….

I think that while doing this noble thing for our children we may discover that we may actually enjoy every bit of it and get more satisfaction just by the act of it….and who knows, it may infact change and enrich our lives in a very positive way…….

Abhijit

North Wales, PA, USA

4/4/08

A modest start

I wanted to setup a area where I can start interacting and sharing with like minded individuals. The discussions I wanted to focus on were around awareness around various good and bad stuff happening in the social specter in India.
Everyone keeps reading interesting books or articles or news clips about good or sometimes great work being done by selfless individuals or organizations in India and vice versa and ( way more!) bad and sometimes hilariously bad stuff happening.
Many of us don't realize the impact of such things on our lives or in future on our children's lives and making that correlation is a interesting and insightful exercise exercise.Once you realize the correlations its easier to become part of the solution i think, rather then being on the sidelines or worse still being part of the problem!

anyway, the purpose of thie blog is not for me to give sermons as i dont think i am good at it nor have the pedigree to do it in the first place

I want to use this Blog for a active dialog on things we see/read/hear and then discuss their significance, how they matter to us and what folks are doing about it

This blog is not going to focus on pushing someone to take action or start some socvial work etc. Thet has to be the decision and journey of the individual.

Hopefully i can learn as we go on and will help me on my journey ...

Abhijit